i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
