Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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