the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
