I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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