During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
