Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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