come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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