Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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