ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
