my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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