ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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