dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
