Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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