PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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