roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
