There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
