i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
