big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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