May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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