dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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