Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
