The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
