There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
