you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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