Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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