He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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