Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
