His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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