ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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