You made me cry and you don't even care
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
