seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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