nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She's JV to your varsity
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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