i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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