im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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