So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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