Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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