And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I won't apologize to a one balled man
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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