If i come over, it means nothing
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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