A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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