adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
