STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
