I wanna bring you to show and tell
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
God I need to hump something, right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
