oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
