so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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