Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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