I'm lost and stupid without you.
how can u be prego again
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize