you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
