Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
