Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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