she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
