I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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