How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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