Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm passing your future prison.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
